Terrible, no good, very bad news

This is a post I NEVER, EVER thought I would be writing. Yet, here I sit struggling to put everything into words.  As many of you know, Nick and I received devastating news earlier this week about our sweet baby girl Shayleigh. I plan to use this blog to keep people updated on everything that is going on. I am going to go ahead and start at the beginning. Late Monday afternoon Shayleigh was sitting in her booster chair at the kitchen table playing with her new favorite toy- playdoh.  I was right by her, but had my back turned unloading the dishwasher. The next thing I know I hear a thump and I jump around and she was laying on the floor. I ran over and picked her up. She was stunned. She cried, but she never shed a tear. After that she wanted me to carry her and she didn't want to walk. Then she wanted to snuggle and kept saying "Mommy I want to go night night. Mommy I want to rest." That is not something she normally does.  She likes to snuggle, but she NEVER wants to rest in the middle of the day. When Nick got home about 30 minutes to 1 hour later I told him. I made him look at her pupils because I thought they didn't look right (and I wanted to make sure I wasn't paranoid). He didn't think they looked right either. So, we loaded up and headed to the pediatric ER. I work at the same hospital in the adult ER. Thank goodness or we might still be waiting. I actually became the person I NEVER wanted to become. I wouldn't touch the note pad or pen to sign in and I walked straight to the back and completely bypassed triage. (I HATE when people do that). But, the Peds ER was AMAZING!! I can't say enough good things about them!! Anyway, the Dr came in and said we could do a CT scan. He never said anything about her pupils, but I just kept telling him she wasn't acting right. Shayleigh was acting really clingy and quiet (which is totally abnormal for her). I really didn't want a CT and eventually decided not to do it because Shayleigh perked up while we were waiting for the CT tech. Also, the CT tech that did CTs on kids wasn't coming in until 9 and we didn't want to wait for 1 1/2 hours for a test while our child was running around the room & acting completely normal. Literally running around the room. And beating up her daddy with a ballon one of the staff had given her from a party earlier that day. So, the dr came back in and told us to come back if she started vomiting or acting really funny. We loaded up in the car and drove to chick-fil-a for dinner. We sat down and Shayleigh proceeded to projectile vomit ALL OVER ME, her daddys pants and shoes and the booth. Nick said "We are going back to the Emergency room."  I was still unsure about going back, but Nick was adamant so we went back.  The Dr came in and told us "lets go ahead and get a CT scan." I still didn't want to, but I didn't feel like I had much of a choice since Nick wanted one. Since I am pregnant, I had to wait in the hallway while they did the CT. Nick went in the room with her and did an AMAZING job!! Unfortunately, it is really hard to get a CT on a really busy 2 year old. The doctor came in and told us that they saw something on it, but they weren't sure if it was due to her movement or if there was something wrong. So, he suggested either another CT or admission to the pedi floor for an MRI that next morning. Nick and I decided on the CT. The second CT didn't go any better so we were admitted for an MRI. She had her MRI that morning at about 0800. She had to be sedated and we were sent back to the room to wait. We were called down to recovery after the procedure. We waited forever for the results. The nurse told me the radiologist had a question and had contacted a pediatric specialist. Then she got the results and said we would wait on the pediatrician who was headed over to talk to us. The pediatrician who came in wasn't my regular pediatrician, but she was amazing. She told us that they found a mass on her brain & that they thought it was an astrocytoma. She said she had contacted a neurosurgeon and she would be coming to talk to us. She gave us worse case scenario, which I really appreciate. I don't want it sugar coated. I want the toughest stuff first. The neurosurgeon came about 30-40 minutes later and showed us the CT results. We saw the tumor. It was pretty obvious (once she pointed landmarks out of course- lol). Shayleigh has a tumor, they believe it is an astrocytoma, the size of a ping pong ball on her cerebellum. This is a very common pediatric brain tumor. The neurosurgeon told us she thinks it is separated enough from the brain stem that she can go in and get it all without having to mess with her brain stem. She explained the surgery to us and patiently answered all of our questions. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to tell us for sure that the tumor is an astrocytoma or if it is benign or malignant. She won't be able to confirm any of that until surgery. She will send off a piece of whatever she gets to the lab at the facility we choose and to St.Judes for further testing which will take approximately 2-3 days. She told us that if she gets in surgery and the tumor is too big or too advanced or will cause more damage than she originally thought she will only take out what she can with minimal amount of damage and close her up and then we will determine what to do from there. Nick and I left the meeting feeling overwhelmed, but very pleased with the neurosurgeon and the explanation she had given us. We feel like EVERYTHING from finding the tumor to the neurosurgeon is an amazing act of God! I am still shocked that the Dr even CONSIDERED ordering a CT on a child who didn't even have a very big fall. It is a blessing this was found out AT ALL this early! I will continue to update, but please continue to pray for us as we begin to make decisions.